Hi again my most wonderful World Wide Family, I love you so very much. So glad to be able to talk to you all again so soon. This time it is evening time and I am enjoying a sunset view from a picturesque window in a coffee shop. I hope you all can take the time to enjoy the nature that God has created for us to enjoy. It is magnificent. I especially love sunrises and sunsets, the melody of birds singing, the unconditional love of pets, and beautiful flowers and plants.
Dear Lord Jesus Christ of Nazareth, Lord God Almighty, let us take the time to be thankful to You Lord. Let us behold Your beauty and the beauty of Your creation. Let us find peace for our souls in Your presence. Let us find the wisdom that we need in Your WORD. Thank You that as the Creator of the Universe, You give us the ability to create, and You give us strategies. Thank You that You show us how to love like You love and forgive like You forgive. You offer us the way to truly be set free.
You enable us to be inventors, writers, leaders, poets, soldiers, presidents, teachers, nurses, doctors, workers in food service, entrepreneurs, workers in maintenance and sanitation, secretaries, business men and women, pastors, evangelists, actors, actresses, police, fire fighters, paramedics and other professions. You tell us in Your WORD that whatever work we do; we should do it as unto You Lord. In doing this we can bring You glory and pleasure in our professions. Let us be thankful to You Lord for the health You give us that we need to even be able to go to work.
Thank You Lord that You protect us. You encamp Your angels around us. You are our Shield and Buckler, our Fortress, Refuge and Strong Tower. We can run to You and be safe no matter what our circumstances are. Thank You Lord that we can keep our hearts yearning for our eternity to be spent with You in Heaven. You have already prepared our Heavenly homes for us. No matter what may happen to us here on this earth; this is only a small fragment of time compared to eternity. You are truly magnificent Lord. We love You, thank You and praise You. In Jesus Name we pray and thank You Lord.
COLOSSIANS 3:23 WHATEVER YOU DO, WORK AT IT WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AS WORKING FOR THE LORD, NOT FOR HUMAN MASTERS. NIV
Before I continue with my testimony about how the Lord delivered me from the addiction of gambling; I would first like to share the Scriptures with you that I had mentioned in my last letter to you.
JEREMIAH 1:5 BEFORE I FORMED YOU IN THE WOMB I KNEW YOU, BEFORE YOU WERE BORN I SET YOU APART; I APPOINTED YOU AS A PROPHET TO THE NATIONS. NIV
MATTHEW 6:8…..FOR YOUR FATHER KNOWS WHAT YOU NEED BEFORE YOU ASK HIM. ESV
PROVERBS 3:5,6 TRUST IN THE LORD WITH ALL YOUR HEART AND LEAN NOT UNTO YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING. IN ALL YOUR WAYS ACKNOWLEDGE HIM AND HE SHALL DIRECT YOU PATHS.
LUKE 22:42 NOT MY WILL, LORD, BUT YOUR WILL.
ROMANS 8:28 AND WE KNOW THAT IN ALL THINGS GOD WORKS FOR THE GOOD OF THOSE WHO LOVE HIM, WHO HAVE BEEN CALLED ACCORDING TO HIS PURPOSE. NIV
ECCLESIASTES 1:9 WHAT HAS BEEN WILL BE AGAIN, WHAT HAS BEEN DONE WILL BE DONE AGAIN; THERE IS NOTHING NEW UNDER THE SUN.
2 CORINTHIANS 5:21 FOR OUR SAKE HE MADE HIM TO BE SIN WHO KNEW NO SIN, SO THAT IN HIM WE MIGHT BECOME THE RIGHTEOUSNESS OF GOD. ESV
1PETER 2:9 BUT YOU ARE A CHOSEN GENERATION, A ROYAL PRIESTHOOD, A HOLY NATION, HIS OWN SPECIAL PEOPLE, THAT YOU MAY PROCLAIM THE PRAISES OF HIM WHO CALLED YOU OUT OF DARKNESS INTO HIS MARVELOUS LIGHT. NKJV
Now back to my deliverance from gambling: So, now that I had unfortunately discovered this place to go called the casino, where I could “momentarily’ escape all of my inner pain and anguish, I was headed into a prolonged downward spiral.
I was the sole provider for my family now and I was still a responsible person (of sorts); so this meant that I had to work more than 1 job so that I could continue to provide for my family and gamble on occasions. Because I was the only parent left to spend quality time with my children and because I worked up to 4 jobs at times; I could not go frequently to the casino so I “binged”.
I would make sure my children were with family, I would go to the casino and stay there for 48 hours or more. I would sit at those machines, not eat, not sleep, smoke cigarette after cigarette, (which I didn’t always do when I wasn’t there and also got delivered from). I would be so tired that I could hardly see straight; but the thought of leaving terrified me. Once I was there I wanted to stay there “forever”!
After some years I decided I needed some serious help. Once I found out where a Gamblers Anonymous meeting was held. It turned out it was on the way to the casino. That was perfect, I could go check out the meeting and then go to the casino afterward, and that is just what I did.
One thing that I did learn when I had spoken with people was that I was not the only one with this controlling bondage of addiction and I wasn’t the only Christian who was experiencing this state of being out of control. That helped me to know this. I thought I must have been the only one. What other Christian would be this out of control and addicted like I was? See how the devil wants to keep you isolated and make you feel like you are this one and only despicable person.
1 CORINTHIANS 10:13 NO TEMPTATION HAS OVERTAKEN YOU EXCEPT WHAT IS COMMON TO MANKIND. AND GOD IS FAITHFUL; HE WILL NOT LET YOU BE TEMPTED BEYOND WHAT YOU CAN BEAR. BUT WHEN YOU ARE TEMPTED, HE WILL ALSO PROVIDE A WAY OUT SO YOU CAN ENDURE IT. NIV
This scripture is so very true. I just ignored all of the help that God was offering me. Every single time that I went to the casino I had to drive myself an hour a way. Every single time there was some kind of major accident or traffic jam that I know was a sign to me to deter me from going. This was my out. But no way, I was determined to basically get to the casino and potentially destroy my own life.
Every time I could hear Holy Spirit telling me exactly what would happen, which was of course exactly what did happen every single time. It went something like this: you are quickly going to spend all of the hundreds that you are taking, then you will begin writing checks, then you will use your cash advance from you credit cards, then when you have maxed out all of these, you will begin using POS.
As a last pitiful effort, you will go back to your car and dig through all of your loose change and take it to the cashier and get what you hope will be a “lucky few dollars”. By the time you are done you will have also paid great amounts of fees and be broke financially, broken emotionally, physically sick and exhausted, on the brink of despair and scared that you could have gotten so out of control (again!). You will feel separated from God spiritually because you will separate yourself due to your shame. It was a vicious cycle.
On the way to the casino, I would tell the Holy Spirit or myself that it was not going to be that way this time. This time I was going to win big and I would be able to help my children and the whole world. On the way home I would cry uncontrollably. When I got home every time I would pass out from lack of sleep and feel this icy pressure on my chest as if someone had just jumped on me. (I personally think it was a demon that was assigned to destroy me.)
Again I would like to make one thing clear, this was a horrible sin for me. I would never make light of this. I greatly repented to the Lord and am eternally grateful that He set me free from this bondage.
I am only writing this because maybe like myself, there are people out there that need to be set free. I think you can probably tell that at that time in my life even though I was (and am a Christian), I was not the same person that I am at this time in my life after God has healed me and truly set me free. I was broken and I sought help from the Lord most definitely, but also I got addicted when I thought I could escape my pain. The answer is not Jesus plus something else. THE ANSWER IS ONLY JESUS! GLORY TO GOD!
I started going to counselors. Since I had kept this a secret, I would begin to open up to Christian friends and leaders and ask them to pray for me. Of course I would pray. I would like to say that I was miraculously delivered. I have been set free now for many years, but at the actual time of my addiction and desire to be delivered, I had to work hard to do my part.
I remember one night, I was going to go to the casino and I was feeling conflicted in my heart. The excitement of going was growing so much that I couldn’t bear it. I pulled into a parking lot and I said a quick half of a prayer for help at the same time that I was calling my bank to see how much money I would be able to spend at the casino. Much to my dismay, I had almost nothing in the bank. I got physically sick, I cried all the way home. I wasn’t going to be able to go to the casino. This was the beginning of the end. I could no longer take being that out of control. I think I maybe went once after that.
Then I started filling myself more and more with the Lord. I had always done Bible studies, prayed, gone to church and had a personal intimate relationship with the Lord but gambling had gotten in the way, then it had taken over. Now I fought the good fight, I fought the spiritual battle to regain this relationship with my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Not only to gain it back but to supercede and give my Lord His rightful place in my life. Not just number 1 but the Only One, Lord and Master, my Everything , every moment of my life. I am Spirit filled and Spirit led.
My life has never been the same since. Life with God is amazing. There is nothing comparable to this life. God gives us free will. When we make bad choices against His perfect will for us, it breaks His Heart and grieves His Spirit. I now give my free will to Him every moment of every day and ask Him to freely do whatever HE wants to do with me and every aspect of my life. I pray that you will do the same. He is worth it!
Until we talk again I pray for your deliverance from all bondages, strongholds and addictions in your life. In Jesus Name.
I love you so much and most importantly Jesus Loves you!
JOHN 8:36 SO IF THE SON SETS YOU FREE, YOU WILL BE FREE INDEED!